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<title>Love You Like I'll Lose You by IonFusion</title>
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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24052138">Love You Like I'll Lose You</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/IonFusion/pseuds/IonFusion'>IonFusion</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>We're Not Promised Tomorrow [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Naruto</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/M, Quote fic, Sad Ending, Songfic, Unrequited Love, You Have Been Warned</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-05-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 17:33:52</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>846</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24052138</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/IonFusion/pseuds/IonFusion</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Iruka didn’t know she was in love with him until it occurred to her one day that he might never come back.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Hatake Kakashi/Umino Iruka</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>We're Not Promised Tomorrow [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1735153</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>17</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Love You Like I'll Lose You</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>The song that helped inspire this is "Like I'm Gonna Lose You" by Meghan Trainor. It's not a perfect fit in my personal opinion, but it still works.</p><p>Disclaimer: Me no owney the song (but this is obvs fanfiction, so do I even need this?)</p><p>...<br/>“The way to love anything is to realize that it might be lost.” ~ G.K. Chesterton</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It didn’t come gradually, like a lot of realizations did. It didn’t dawn, or crest, or drop little hints along the way.</p><p>No, when Iruka realized she was in love with Hatake Kakashi, it hit her like a ton of bricks. </p><p>There was a moment leading up to it, of course, as there always was when the mind finally opened up to new horizons - a final push before the thin barrier gave way.</p><p>Umino Iruka, as everyone knew, was chunin sensei at the Academy. She took other missions occasionally and worked the Missions Room frequently, but it was generally accepted that nothing she did would be quite as dangerous as teaching small children to wield weapons and manipulate chakra. There had been close calls on past missions, but of those Iruka had only come close to death twice. </p><p>She had immense respect for all the other shinobi who risked their lives with <em> every </em> mission they took, credits to their village all - but she was content not being one of their number. Iruka <em> liked </em> teaching kids, and the children needed the stability of a constant teacher in their young lives before they were thrust into the chaos and hardship of being soldiers. </p><p>Everyone knew Hatake Kakashi. The man was a legend far and wide, known for his skill and his genius and his dark reputation. If you had not heard of the Copy Nin, Sharingan no Kakashi, <em> Friend Killer </em> Kakashi, then you were probably deaf and/or dead before he was ever born. Maybe a couple of decades before that, even. </p><p>Within Konohagakure no Sato, Kakashi’s reputation was more relaxed, though no less defined: lazy, pervert, late, genius, formidable. Of all the shinobi in Konoha, only Might Gai, Itachi (before he left), and the Sandaime Hokage could claim to be on par or even better than him. There was no mission Kakashi was sent on that he did not complete, no Bingo Book his face did not grace, and no citizen of his fair village that did not know his name. So, yes, Iruka knew who he was. </p><p>Even better, she had met and talked to the illustrious Copy Nin on several occasions due to her primary occupations and one of her former students. </p><p>On more than one occasion Iruka had gotten on Kakashi’s case for turning in shoddy reports. </p><p>There was that one time where she challenged his choice to put his first genin team in the Chunin Exams (he’d been correct to remind that she had no right to challenge the decision of a superior, but she’d <em> also </em> been correct in that those kids weren’t ready for those <em> particular </em> exams) (she still dreamt of Snake Sannin and invasions and smoke on the horizon). </p><p>Surprisingly she could also count moments of almost-friendship between them as they sat on either side of Naruto and listened to him talk nonstop while still inhaling bowl after bowl of ramen. </p><p>Occasionally they met while out with friends; Kakashi with Asuma, Gai, and Kurenai, and Iruka with Genma and Raidou. Because her friends knew him and his, their two groups had meshed until she was with them almost once a month drinking and swapping stories of students past and present. </p><p>Despite any initial animosity they may have shared - or apathy on Kakashi’s part - both warmed towards each other until it wasn’t uncommon to let the other know when they were headed out on some solo mission, even if it was just to ensure that someone would know to tell Naruto should he return before they did. </p><p>Then Naruto <em> did </em> return, and Pein attacked, and Iruka didn’t <em> see </em> it but she sure as hell <em> felt </em> it when Kakashi died saving her.</p><p>He came back to life, but it didn’t matter:</p><p>Kakashi had <em> died </em> - for <em> her </em>, a lowly chunin who was friends with him pretty much by accident. </p><p>Afterwards, there was a niggling itch in her chest every time Kakashi had to leave for a mission, a tiny fear that she couldn’t quite put a name to. She should have been used to this, she was shinobi for kami-sakes, but nothing she tried - cool reason and heated anger - had changed that incessant worry that plagued her every time he left the safety of the village walls. </p><p>When Umino Iruka realized she was in love with Hatake Kakashi, it hit her like a ton of bricks. </p><p>It didn’t come gradually, like dawn or the crest of a wave or the suspense in a horror movie. </p><p>She was used to the idea that when shinobi left the village, there was every chance they might not come back regardless of the supposed danger of their task. </p><p>But months after the Pein Assault, after feeling Kakashi <em> die </em>, a man sometimes thought immortal for all his luck and skill, Iruka watched him give her a cheerful wave before he departed on yet another scouting mission -</p><p>And she realized <em> he might not come back </em>. </p><p>Hatake Kakashi might not come back, and that was how Iruka knew she loved him. </p><p>And she felt like she had already, somehow, lost him.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>For those of you who might be reading my fic Not Even Free, you'll know that I think there's not enough fem!Iruka out there. So, my response to this dilemma is two entire Google Docs sheets filled with quotes, titles, and summaries already put together and ready for me to turn into actual stories. This particular fic is part one of two, the second of which is from Kakashi's pov. </p><p>Massive 'Thank You' to hades_bitch for helping me edit this :) If you guys have any ideas for future fics, you have thoughts about this one, or you'd just like to chat, drop a comment. I try to respond to every review I get as comprehensively and thoughtfully as I can, so sometimes it can take me a little while to respond - but I will respond!</p><p>Take care, you guys! :)</p></blockquote></div></div>
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